created to create – and worship, and pray, and sing, and dance, and love, and color outside the lines

For the introvert in me.

I am an introvert.  A massively introverted introvert.  Many people may be surprised by this.  I am painfully shy; scared of being judged.  I am the girl that would rather be at the top of the magnolia tree or in my room reading.   Don’t call on me in class, PLEASE!

I function in this world as an extrovert and most of the time I pull it off pretty well.  Most of the time.

I grew up in a social wonderland – parties, clubs, events, restaurants, travel, and lots of opportunity to push past my natural instinct to find an empty room to hide in, or to run away  from having to talk to people.  I learned as I got older (like 16) that liquor and drugs made it a lot easier to “extrovert.”  Just an example of my younger self trying to fill that “God-sized” hole with something stupid.  It’s okay if you find yourself in this position.  Once you do figure it out – stop.  Be okay with being an “I.”

I know now how to fill that ol’ hole.  And I still have to “extrovert”, but my natural habitat is in a room by myself. readers perched on my nose, behind a HUGE computer screen and I’m writing or designing.  That is my “nestled in” place.

I’m learning to feel “nestled in” out in this big world of people.  I like people.  I love people.  I love our differences.  I love hugs, and conversations that dig deep, and honesty and the authentic in people.  I can’t be a part of these beautiful things when I “introvert.”

Extroverting is actually fun and fulfilling.

So, if like me, you lean toward the introvert side of the spectrum, take chances, come out of your shell – you might enjoy it!

And if you’re naturally an extrovert – bless you!  We need you!  We need the ones who love the social world, you make the phone calls and set dates up, and initiate conversations, etc. – us introverts are grateful.  Thank you!  But also, try to understand us – it’s not that we don’t want to take part, we just need a gentle prod.  So, thanks!

Peace.

Em

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3 Responses to “For the introvert in me.”

  1. Meritta Mandeville

    Dear sweet friend, I loved this piece! Bless you for sharing your heart again. I identify with the introverted piece so much myself as I have spent so many years trying to overcome that by God’s grace. Emily, you are one of the most outgoing, beautiful people I’ve ever known! My how we cover sometimes. Your awesome photo albums you made for my grandkids always remind me of the beautifully talented person you are. You were my best helper and friend to me when I was teaching at Ryan. Forever I am grateful! Seeing you continue to grow in the Lord and let His light shine through you with beautiful transparency is awesome.
    Love you,
    Meritta

    Reply

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